Evermore desirous for youthfulness
“As I grow old, my realization about life becomes
deeper, problems get bigger, and situations become more complicated, and I know
that you are just like me. Sometimes, we wish we could go back to the time when
any pain could be healed by just a band-aid and a piece of candy. But the
reality is, there’s no turning back in time. Learn from the past, live in the
present, and entrust the future to God’s greater plan.”
...goes a text message from a good friend which draws
me closer to one of my greatest fears—getting old. When aging comes, bluntly, I
will be envious with the new generation... some pristine, some gallant and untamed.
I just realized that every time I wake up in the
morning, how I wish I could go back to my childhood and teenage days. I want to
be young again, or forever. I want to play... careless, reliant. I really miss
those times when my only worries and concerns were... what to play today? Who’ll
be my playmates? What bruises may I acquire? Will I stumble or fall? Will I be
scolded? Can I hurt other playmates or damage other people’s properties? Those things
and other shallow apprehensions.
When I was a grader, the only problem in school was how
to answer those assignments, make those projects, when and where to study? But
now that I’m not anymore roaming around inside the walls of a school or campus,
I plainly see what the world really is, where true combat happens... so I have
to fight and take the wheel. I have to play the game that’s entrusted to me...
to survive, if not to win.
Squarely, now that I reach this age, problems keep
coming, challenges frequently visiting, waves persistently coming to my
shore—whether big or small. I will be turning 22, and I know I will not get any
younger. I can never be 5 years old, 10, 15, or 18. Whether I like it or not, I
have to accept for this is the reality of life.
Once you pass that stage, there’ll be no more turning
back, and you have to embrace where you are now. From childhood to adolescent
to adulthood to elderly... your age is ascending, so as with the tests that you
have to deal with. And you are just like me, we are equal that way.
I’m almost 22, you consider it young? Though I’ve grown-up,
but truthfully, I wanted to be a child again. Where art thou “fountain of youth”?
(smiling face)
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