explore my optimistic world

I’m already 18 years old, and I will be turning 19 soon...I’ve always been teased by my friends why until now I don’t have boyfriend yet.

Actually, I always say that I don’t know how to run a life engaging in a mutual kind of relationship. Sometimes I say, ‘because I don’t want to cry for the person’, or ‘because my parents won’t allow me to’, or because 'my friends thought that I am a serious girl and has vision'…all those reasons, etcetera, etcetera…

Not bragging but there have been a lot of them who asked me to be their girl, but none moved my heart, none of them convinced my thoughts and emotion, because I know that none of them will stay longer with me and will never love me truly.

I am not an easy to get girl to honestly say. I don’t easily believe to the honeyed words of males. Before I decide to say “no” or “yes”, I want to make sure that what I utter comes from what I truly feel.

It’s not saying that I am choosy, but I just want to make sure that I made the right thing, and I’ve chosen the right man.

But everything changes after realizing that I’m already a lady, or a lady? To have a boyfriend is one of my requests now that I step on in this stage. When I see girls with their special someone walking, eating, going to church, roaming, talking, and those other forms that shows they are lovers, I get jealous.

I told my self that I also want to experience the same thing. I want to know the feeling of being fetched and sent back to the house; the occasions that you and your man are eating and watching movies together; the feeling of being cared, that all the time, someone is thinking how and where you are; the feeling that you think you are beautiful and blessed because there is someone who truly loves and accepts you no matter who and what you are.

When will I experience that? When will that time be? When will I consider my self a lady? When will I have someone to be called as my boyfriend? When will that time come that I would be proud to shout to every ear that “this is my boyfriend!” Until when will I wait for him?

I know God will give me the perfect moment and the perfect man that I have long been waiting for. I know he will come, he will come, and I just have to patiently wait. I will wait for you, and promise, I will love you.

I’m not rushing to have that someone in my life, to tell everybody that ‘this is my man!’… but I’m sure it will happen to me.